New Year, Same (But Slightly Improved) Me

It’s January 2 already, so I might be a little bit behind on writing my new post about the new year, but I figure I’m allowed to forgive myself since one of my recurring revolutions is to remember to love and forgive myself. Hopefully you’ll all forgive me, too.

There’s something about the turning of the year that’s both anticlimactic (this year, my friends and I were so wrapped up in our board game that we almost missed it) and incredibly inspiring. Even though I wake up on January 1st the exact same Amanda I was on December 31st, there’s a feeling of cleaning the slate. Of washing away the last year and starting over fresh.

Except that honestly, last year was kind of amazing. I mean, of COURSE there was drama and there was a breakup and there were all these little things. But honestly. I spent 4 months of 2012 in ENGLAND, traveling the globe in a way I never would have imagined. I spent the year with my wonderful friends, who I love dearly, and I even got an old and dearly missed friend back. My short story won an award and ended up quasi-published and I lost those stubborn 10 pounds I’ve been fighting. If there were ever a year that lived up to the New Year’s promise of “the best year yet” it was 2012.

So, naturally, I’m a little bit excited for what 2013 has in store. Some of it, I know I won’t be able to control–will this be the year, finally the year, when I fall in love? (I’m not holding my breath on htat one) Will this be the year I get something PUBLISHED as opposed to quasi-published (google “The Defining Act of Jeanette Sinclair” and my story is the first result!)?

These things I can’t predict. What I can control is that I’m going to spend more time with my journal and more time with my thoughts, trying to figure out whether or not being a “real” Buddhist is something I want to do. What I can control is remembering to breathe and to eat healthy not because I think I’m fat (frankly, I think I look the best I have in years, if not ever) but because I feel so amazing when I do. What I can control is to be a loving and forgiving person, not only with others, but with myself as well.

It’s a new year and, despite all the good and bad that 2012 held for all of us, I’ve never been more sincere when I’ve told a new year to bring it on.

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