All right, this post topic has been floating around in my head for days, but since it’s the retail season I’ve been slaving away behind a counter instead of at the keyboard where I belong.
Basically, it all started with me sitting around on Twitter, scrolling through the trending topics (if you don’t understand Twitter, it’s the stuff a lot of people are posting about). I saw that something called “The Virgin Diaries” was trending, so naturally I clicked.
I had never (and still have never) seen the show, but from what I could tell in the Tweets people were utterly appalled by these people just because they were older and still virgins. One of the most popular discussions was about a couple who shared their first kiss at their wedding. Now, admittedly that’s a little extreme (and perhaps a little bit sad, honestly) but I just don’t see how it’s DISGUSTING–which is how people have been describing it. Curiosity overcame me and I journeyed to YouTube to see the clip for myself:
Now, admittedly, they do kind of look like they might be trying to feast on one another’s souls, but come on, people. They’ve never kissed before. They’re just kind of bad at it. It’s hardly worthy of the adjective “disgusting.” Save that for things that are actually incredibly repulsive.
But that’s not really the thing that bothers me. The thing that bothers me is that people are so disgusted by a show about people who are 29 year old virgins but there are at least 5 different shows about girls who are 16 and Pregnant (or are Teen Moms, etc) and no one seems to be making a fuss. Maybe I just missed the outrage–I know there are plenty of people who think the shows are ridiculous–but it scares me that we might be looking at a society where being a sixteen year old who thinks she can (and, furthermore SHOULD) raise a baby is acceptable but saving yourself for marriage is appalling.
My concern certainly isn’t exclusive to this one experience on the Twitterverse–it’s something I’ve been worrying about for a while. People actually ask me on a regular basis if I have kids. I once responded with a chuckle and the words, “I’m 18,” and the woman just gave me a blank stare, as if that didn’t answer the question. It’s apparently astonishing now that an 18 year old might not only not have kids, but be a virgin.
Yes, I’m aware that not everyone thinks this way, but enough people do that I’m getting a little concerned. it’s time for a reality check for all those sixteen (fourteen, fifteen) year olds who make pregnancy pacts and WANT to be mothers–you CANNOT financially support a child. You have a life to live. YOU are still a child.
I recognize that this rant is getting a little bit long, but it’s an issue that genuinely worries me. I’m not saying that girls who get pregnant early in life are terrible people. I’m not saying it’s not great that so many of them decide to stick it out and raise their baby themselves. What worries me isn’t that accidents happen. What worries me is how often it seems to be very much NOT an accident anymore. Yes, sixteen year olds used to get married and have kids all the time, but that was in a different time period with different rules. The society they lived in was the appropriate structure for it–they married early and were supported by their husbands. Now, when you get knocked up by that skater boy in first period, he’s 16 too. He doesn’t have a job. And honey, that bun in your oven isn’t going to make him grow up and commit. It’s just going to make you grow up–fast.
So in conclusion, internet people, I hope we can all take a pause, sort out our priorities, and find the happy medium between pregnant on purpose at sixteen and having your first kiss at your wedding. Because yes, watching these shows and laughing at how ridiculous these people are is fun. But they are real people, and their numbers just keep increasing as the temptation of fame makes it seem more acceptable to behave this way. And as always, if you’re still with me, I never meant to offend and I’m sorry if I did. Feel free to tell me all about it.