All right, internet people, today I want to talk to you about pet peeves. Everyone has them, and they’re different for everyone. And today, I’m going to tell you about a few of mine.
(Disclaimer: You may find yourself falling under one of these pet peeve categories. This doesn’t mean I hate you. Probably, I don’t. We’re all human. These are just the little things that get under my skin, not a personal attack on anyone. Especially not you. You’re reading my blog. I probably love you. But not in a creepy way.)
1) People’s Inability to Understand the Differences Between Homophones
Okay, I know. I used a big word on the internet. But that’s why there’s a dictionary on the internet. Anyway, the point is, the rise of social media like Facebook and Twitter has impressed upon me the mounting issue of a complete lack of understanding the difference between those fun words that sound the same but are spelled differently and have different meanings.
The big culprits? “To, too, two”, “Your, you’re” and “Their, they’re, there” Every time I see someone post “Ha ha screw you to” Or “Your funny” or “Their are so many mistakes on here lol” I want to cringe (okay, those were bad examples, but I just get so distracted by the awful pain it gives me to type incorrect words that I can’t be that clever). Not only do I want to cringe, I usually come up with something really, really sarcastic and mean to comment back. For instance, “Screw me to where?” and “I didn’t realize I owned humor” and, okay, I don’t really have anything to say to that last one, it’s just so bad.
The thing is, I don’t expect everyone to be perfect or anything. It’s just that it isn’t that hard, really, to mind the difference between a few simple words so that your meaning is clear. I mean, think about it. “You’re”. It’s a contraction. That means it mean “you are”. How hard is that to know from “your” which is a possesive?
Remind me never to try to teach grammar to little kids. I’d probably just end up screaming at them and slapping the chalkboard with a ruler in frustration. Anyway, it’s time for number two.
2) LOUD TALKERS
Yes, that does need to be in all caps. Because loud talkers are those people who feel the need to SCREAM EVERYTHING THEY SAY so that people halfway across the cafeteria can hear every single word of their conversation. Apparently, these people never learned what an inside voice was. Or a “No you’re not currently standing next to a jet engine” voice, for that matter.
My snarky reaction to encountering this pet peeve? I usually turn to the person next to me and repeat whatever they just said as if it’s the most enlightening thing in the world. For instance, “Apparently, she wants to order the steak.” Don’t worry, I mutter it under my breath–not that I should really be worried that the loud talker will overhear, since they’re so deaf they can’t even hear themselves.
3) The “Everything Sucks and I Hate It” Facebook Status Posters
I think this one is pretty self explanatory, but because I like to talk (type, whatever) I’m going to go on. We all know those people who only post new statuses when they have something depressing to say or want to update you on how much they hate the world. Things like “I just feel like I’m spiraling downwards in this world of stress” or “Men are suck jerks. I’m done with them FOREVER.” Or “All girls are bitches. Screw that, I’m done being the nice guy.” I could go on, but I won’t, because we’re all annoyed enough at it as it is. Also, there’s a strange tendency for this type of person to also be a pet peeve #1 type of person, which doubles the irritation, for my anyway.
I don’t usually feel the need to say anything sarcastic about this one, because I do feel a little bit bad for these people. Not only are they probably clinically depressed, they have lost the social filter that tells them not to post their every thought on a public forum for the world to see. It would be really, really sad. If only it wasn’t so annoying.
One of my other pet peeves is internet lists that add on random numbers, like 7, or 11… but I’m going to run the risk of being one of those people because this post is getting to be really long and I would hate to intimidate my readers with both a rant about pet peeves AND a massive wall of text at the same time. So we’ll save the continuation of the list for a later date.