Procrastination, The Sequel: This is your brain on Monster (and Cupcakes)

All right, so as you well know college students procrastinate. I talk about this often, as most college students do. This is another form of avoiding doing whatever it is I am supposed to be doing.

Currently, however, I am not putting anything off. Rather I just finished the glorious catch-up fest that always follows a bought of especially severe procrastination. As such I am going to keep this post short because I don’t really trust the state of my brain at the moment.

In order to effectively finish everything I put off during the Thanksgiving holiday (which consisted entirely of food, the couch, and shopping) I was forced to resort to a few things common to the college life. I consumed massive amounts of sugar and caffeine in order to keep my eyes open and do the things that needed to be done.

I stayed up until around 3am, at which point my brain was still going only because I had stuffed two cupcakes in my mouth at work and then downed a Monster, which always tastes a bit like liquified sweet-tarts but is the only energy drink I can stand. This resulted in the phenomenon I like to call “sugar-brain,” which is characterized by a sudden extreme hyperness, my thoughts racing under a current of exhaustion, and all sorts of strange thoughts popping into my head.

This time sugar-brain was combined with sleep-deprived brain, and the results were terrifying. I sat there, with my laptop before me, typing away patiently while my thoughts raced beneath the thin veneer of exhaustion that threatened to bubble up and put me to sleep. Those that know me have experienced the odd results of sleep-deprived brain, such as my laying in the grass and saying awkward things to Freshmen boys, or pretending that, “I don’t want to be Harry Potter,” is somehow a coherent thought expressing a lack of desire to do anything productive. I’m glad my roommate was asleep so that no one could witness the oddness that was streaming through my brain in this strange, combination state.

However sugar-brain and sleep-deprived brain carried over into sleep. I dreamed that my friend got mad at me and convinced my boss to fire me, at which point I kept going to work anyway and begging to be re-hired, refusing adamantly to look for a new job. Now, I’m glad for the job that I have. It’s a good, solid job, and I know how to do it, and it pays the college bills and all that. But I hardly think I would resort to the kind of ridiculous sobbing and flinging myself at my boss that sugar-sleep-deprived-brain deemed necessary. I woke up feeling more stressed out than I had when I tried to sleep, and with the odd sense that I should be angry with my friend.

Today I am beginning slightly to recover. My crazed hybrid brain has dulled back down to just sleep-deprived brain, and although I stared out the window for about 20 minutes making comments about how weird the snow was, then collapsed into my bed laughing for no apparent reason, I think I’m going to be just fine and capable of bringing you a coherent and entertaining blog post that isn’t about the deterioration of my mental capacities in the near future.


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